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Beginner's Guide to Tantra and Tantra Sex: Cultivate Personal Growth and Deepen Relationships!

Updated: Feb 14

For many, tantric sex sounds like something excitingly exotic, and perhaps unique, that can give you even more pleasure. Few, however, really know what Tantra sex actually is and how you can start with it.

However, what we do know: Tantra sex is something that every couple should try.

In many cultures, sex is considered something relaxing, something that serves our relaxation.

In contrast, Tantra sex is a spiritual method from the ancient East that is meant to expand consciousness. Moreover, the goal is to unite the opposites of male and female energy into a whole.

Sounds a bit special? Don't worry!

Because even if you are less concerned with energy and spirit, the Tantra method can be a key to sexual pleasure, because a series of rituals help you and your partner to get in the mood on the one hand, and on the other hand to achieve a strong sense of connection.

The deepened connection, that you can achieve with your partner thanks to Tantra rituals, will help you and your partnership in many aspects: starting from better and more frequent sex, you will be able to gain a lot of energy for other areas of life as well.

Erotic photo of a woman's lips used as title picture in an article about how to begin with Tantra and Tantra Sex



The rituals will also help you to become more courageous and open during sex with your partner and to try something new, like a long-desired sex position or a special toy.

All beginnings are difficult and need some courage. But getting into Tantra is worth it, and all you need for Tantra is some correct information and your impartiality towards new experiences.

So let's have a look on how to get started!

Atmosphere, Atmosphere, Atmosphere

Mood and atmosphere are key.

Create a relaxing atmosphere in the room you want to use - whether bedroom or living room is up to you. With lots of cozy pillows, soft blankets, and candles, preferably some scented candles, you create just the right mood. Two glasses of water or light wine and maybe some snacks should also be available for you. You can enjoy these during your session and recharge your batteries.

Sensual, soft music, which will trigger positive emotions in you, will also help. And why not add a few products for an erotic ambience?

The most important thing is that you and your partner feel comfortable and secure to get into the right mood.

Attitude, attitude, attitude

The most important thing: Be open - mentally, physically and emotionally.

Just go for it.

And discuss the rules in advance: If anything about the experience bothers you or your partner or makes you uncomfortable, communicate that and skip the part.

Be aware, however, that there is always likely to be discomfort at the beginning that needs to be overcome. These feelings usually come from shame, but are unfounded.

During your practice, stay playful and curious and find out which of the steps give you pleasurable moments. And always remember: since Tantra is about slowly building sexual energy, it helps to wear clothes in the beginning. So wear something comfortable that doesn't restrict you anywhere. But of course: if you both feel comfortable and secure, these exercises can and should be done naked.

Tantra - how to get started step-by-step

Sit comfortably opposite each other. Some like to sit cross-legged, others like to cross their legs. Whatever position feels good for you.

You can also try the Yab-Yum position:

The man sits cross-legged while the woman sits in his lap, on his legs. Look into each other's eyes for a long time.

This will feel a little strange and uncomfortable, especially in the beginning, but keep at it.

Keep looking into each other's eyes until you feel comfortable with this exercise. There is no time limit for this. Each couple takes a different amount of time.

Once you have overcome the discomfort, you have already laid the foundation for the connection that is the goal of Tantra!

This also means that during the following steps you should always make sure that you keep eye contact!

Now do the following...

The step-by-step Tantra Guide for Beginners

  1. Breathe together. Try to breathe slowly and synchronously, that is, breathe in and out at the same time. It is also very nice to feel your partner's heartbeat on his or her chest.

  2. Communicate with each other. To create an even stronger connection, tell each other what connects you or what you love about your partner - for example, "I love it when you...." or "It's sexy when you....". Be honest with what you say and how you feel in the moment. Take turns.

  3. Touch each other. Very gently and slowly stroke your fingertips along your partner's body. This will awaken his or her nerves and intensify the sensation. While doing this, be sure to make and maintain eye contact! Tease your lover by sliding your fingers close to his or her genitals or breasts without actually touching them.

  4. Get into position. If you are not yet in the yab-yum position, move into it now. Hug each other. Breathe together.

  5. Try a few tantric kisses. Your lips are slightly open and touching. Breathe in and out together. Share and synchronize the same breath. Then you can indulge in a light, slow, sensual kiss.

  6. Give each other a tantric massage. Start the massage with your partner on the belly at non-erogenous zones and after some time move on to the erogenous areas. You can massage only with your hands or use feathers, cloth or wax from massage candles. If you are still undecided and do not know what you like, it is best to get a Kamasutra set with many great tools. There you'll find many different accessories that are excellent for Tanta massages. When you are done with the massage on the back, have your partner turn around and repeat the whole thing on the front. Remember: tantric massage is not primarily meant for sexual stimulation, so don't try to bring your partner to orgasm. However, it may well be that your partner climaxes on their own, of course. This is 100% okay!

  7. The final! Either you can have sex now and let all the pent-up sexual energy work. Or you can just lie next to each other and enjoy the moment and the connection. In Tantra sex, sexual intercourse is not the focus, but it is one of the options you can choose. If you decide to have sex, start slowly and choose a position (or several) where you can look into each other's eyes. Tip: Some exciting ideas for new sex positions can be found easily. It's best to just have a look here!

Tantric massage picture by cottonbro studios, man massaging a women on the back as part of a Tantra ritual
Photo by Cottonbro Studios

Especially at the beginning, Tantra Sex is not easy at this point, because you should both stay focused and not let yourself be carried away by the moment. Allow the energy to move back and forth between you and your connection.

And the best is:

You can explore Tantra as often and as long as you like. There are no limits. Ultimately, it's about exploring your pleasure and finding pleasure in new ways.

Do you want to learn more about Tantra?

Tantra is fascinating! But it takes some practice and a few tips and tricks to become a master at it.

So practice is important, and in this case not boring or tedious!

And hey, if you want to learn a lot more about Tantra on your own, check out the books about Tantra we have put together for you here.

Check out how others experienced the world of Tantric Sex!

Every now and then, it helps to find the courage to do something new when you hear about the experiences of others.

And it is exactly the same with Tantra.

Therefore, we (as lovers of erotic literature and stories), set out to collect the best stories about Tantra Sex!

So if you still need some inspiration where this can lead, read on here!



Check out our FREE Erotic E-Book and much more!

Book Cover of Erotic Romance Story Forbidden Complication by Filthybooks

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Then do not miss to grab our FREE Erotic E-Book!

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