The Best Sex Positive Books for Adults
Updated: Sep 8
Are you looking for a way to ignite the burning fires in your mind and maybe you're looking for some inspiration for your personal love life?
In a study, 58% of women and 46% of men are dissatisfied with the amount of sex that they have. Before placing blame on any sexual partner, it's important that you learn as much as you can about the most important part of this equation – yourself.
Your sex life will thrive when you start with an attitude shift. One of the best ways to do this is by reading some books that can help you shape your mind.
Here are some sex positive books that you'll want to check out.
#1 Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
No pun intended by the title, but this book is a must-read because it dives into the desires that women have, pulling back the cover on something that could seemingly be seen as taboo.
Nagoski's "Come As You Are" is especially useful for people wanting to develop a positive attitude towards sex. The book dives into female desire, the arousal process, and so much more.
In this book, you're going to find tons of information on a variety of things including:
Factors that affect pleasure
Factors that affect your libido
It delves into mindfulness, clitoral stimulation, human biology, and ways to create the sex life you've always desired. The book is backed by scientific studies, and features in-depth commentary from the author. She discusses how self-image, emotions, and self-confidence are integral to a woman's sexuality.
Not only will you begin to learn more about yourself, but it's also useful for those who have a partner and are working to navigate the bedroom together.
When you take the time to communicate with your partner using books about sex, it makes it easier to have a positive sex life.
Come As You Are will leave you feeling like what you bring to the table sexually is more than enough. And in a world where people judge others, especially for their sexual preferences, this is going to be one of the best sex-positive books for women and will for sure help to improve your sex live.
#2 Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
Esther Perel is a huge advocate of sex positivity. She's a licensed psychotherapist who has done extensive research into relationships and sexuality.
In her book, "Mating in Captivity", Perel talks about how love, familiarity, and domesticity make us feel comfortable, but also take the fire out of relationships.
She discusses strategies for helping people in relationships express their needs and desires without fear or pressure.
When you're able to express your sexuality, it's easier to blossom and flourish within romantic relationships.
Remark: We took the audiobook here, as it is cheap and very well narrated by the author herself. Definitely a great way to fill your time while e.g. commuting!
#3 My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday
Many people have sexual hangups because they feel odd, or like they're the only ones that think or feel as they do.
Women also receive a lot of messages from a lot of different places, which can lead to even more confusion. That's where Nancy Friday's book can help.
Without question, "My Secret Garden" is one of the most all-encompassing, well-researched sex-positive books ever created.
She compiles real-life letters and conversations with women over the course of several years discussing their raw, true, sexual fantasies and feelings.
What we get is a book that shows just how wide-reaching and creative women's sexual imaginations are.
They range from common themes to touching on the dark side of the human psyche. All in all, learning about how women throughout the past several decades think and feel their sexuality will make you feel more normal than ever.
#4 Girl Sex 101 By Allison Moon and KD Diamond
Class is in session with this book and you've got a lot to learn.
This is the ultimate guide for women that find themselves fancying other women, bringing you out of a world of black and grey into living color.
If you're new to interactions and sexual encounters with women, you don't want to miss what this book has to offer to you.
You'll learn about your anatomy and what will make your partner reach new heights with you along for the ride.
You'll also get some information about techniques you can use in bed and how to communicate your needs in a way that will be understood by your partner.
This book is one of the best because it embraces the idea that women aren't always attracted to men.
Girl Sex 101 gives you insight into how to approach sex positivity in the queer community, because for some that are new to it, things can get confusing.
#5 The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
David Deida's book is another classic that has revolutionized human thought and sexuality.
It touches on spiritual and energetic principles of masculine sexuality and the feminine sexual partners that they interact and build lives with.
Through Deida's work, you'll learn all about the masculine and feminine aspects of sexual polarity, how they interact, and how integral they are to all sexual relationships.
The Way of the Superior Man has stood the test of time for just how valuable it has been for men and women from all walks of life.
#6 Naked At Our Age by Joan Price
40% of adults over the age of 65 are still active sexually with their partners.
If that's shocking, the real question is: why are you surprised?
And why are you shocked? Isn't it a great thought that there is still love, pleasure and sex when getting a little older?
This book tackles the idea that as you begin to age, you're no longer sexualized the way you were when you were younger. It makes a point to focus on how as you age, you essentially become an afterthought to people when you shouldn't be.
You'll learn about challenges that occur when you're older and still sexually active, as well as some things that might surprise you as you continue to engage with others.
The lesson in this book is that while most still have the desire for sexual intimacy as you get older, the desire is still there, but arriving at that desire might change along the way.
#7 A Quick & Easy Guide to Consent by Isabella Rotman
This topic is one that's caused a mass amount of controversy as the #MeToo era came about in 2006, but it needs to be talked about. Rotman, with the help of illustrations by Luke B. Howard, takes something that could be awkward to discuss and turned it into something positive. So for all of us which are a little uncertain on how to act in the game of flirting and sex, this comic will give you "A quick, easy and important educational comic guide to giving and receiving consent in sex, relationships, and other physical contact."
Communication, communication, communication is what this book is about in terms of laying out what you want to do sexually with your partner. You'll meet Sergeant Yes Means Yes, who's a part of the Consent Calvary, as you navigate these types of questions.
Sarge will help answer these questions as he walks you through several situations that the book's characters find themselves in. In each of these situations, you'll learn about consent and how to create boundaries between yourself and those you're active with before anything takes place.
#8 A Quick & Easy Guide to Sex & Disability by A. Andrews
There are more than 1 billion people who are living with a disability. Just because they have a disability doesn't mean they don't crave sexual closeness with their partners.
This book joins the graphic novel group with the above book. It discusses what it's like for people with disabilities to deal with ableism and how to achieve what you need.
When you read this graphic novel or sex comic book, you'll find that there are tons of ways to interact sexually with a person. The thing is you've got to find what works for you and how to communicate with people about the things you need as a person who's disabled.
The novel is also useful because it shreds myths that people around you might have had when approaching sex and the disabled body.
#9 The Ethical Slut by Janet W. Hardy & Dossie Easton
Have you ever wondered what the rules were when you got into a polyamorous relationship?
Or maybe you're in a committed relationship, but you're thinking about inviting others in under specific conditions?
This book will help you figure out how to do exactly what you want to do in a way that won't destroy your other intimate relationships.
The book helps provide insight into a different type of relationship that reaches beyond the boundaries of monogamy.
When you're in relationships that have more than two people, you've got to communicate more than you normally would. The reason is you've got to consider others before yourself to make things work.
How do you deal with conflicts in a multi-person relationship?
How do you express your feelings and feel heard?
This book will help you to approach these situations with understanding to give and receive what you need.
#10 Love Without Sex by Sophie Lucido Johnson
What is monogamy in your mind?
For so long, people have approached relationships with a certain idea of what they're supposed to be and what they aren't.
Johnson refuses to stay within these boundaries written by history by embracing other ideas of relationships. It sets the stage for a conversation about the way that people decide to define their families and relationships in non-traditional ways.
A book like this can't be missed, because the conversation needs to happen as everyday life continues to evolve.
Remark: Actually this work is only available as audible. But why not hearing an educational book about sexuality while commuting to work? Your day will change - trust us!
#11 The Ultimate Guide to Kink by Tristan Taormino
It's no secret that the idea of kink is something people try to keep behind closed doors, but in the modern day, there's no reason to be ashamed of how you like to get down.
Are you thinking about introducing a bit of BDSM into your bedroom?
Do you like the exchange of power between yourself and your partner as you engage in waves of pleasure?
This novel will teach you how to work these things into your sex routine.
Keep in mind when you're reading this book, you're not only going to learn tips and techniques, but you're going to receive some history and background on kink play and how it came to be. The beauty of this book is that it takes the opinions of several people and brings them into one space.
This is great because it's diverse and helps you to see different viewpoints in a rich setting.
#12 All Boys Aren't Blue by George M. Johnson
This book is drawn from the life of the author himself, as he navigates life while being black and queer. There are certain difficulties that he's dealt with, whether it be from his family or peers.
As the book continues, you grow with him and experience things as he experiences them, from sexual relationships to budding romances that might start out confusing, but sort themselves out eventually.
The author gives you a gripping tale on personal happenings in his life because of the key role it plays for others going through the same thing.
If you're someone experiencing the same thing, you'll begin to understand what it's like to live in a world saturated with toxic masculinity.
You also learn to deal with racism and other prejudices directed at you while still learning to accept and love yourself.
Interested in some steamy Gay Erotic Romance Novels? Start with these great works!
#13 Body Counts by Sean Strub
This book will put you into a time machine and take you back to the era when AIDS was sweeping the nation. Fear took hold of people and affected the world.
Strub details the time he grew up in and how it affected the world of politics as he rubbed elbows with some of the most high-profile politicians of the time.
The novel gives you a VIP pass to the double life that many men were living at the time because being gay wasn't well-received by others.
By the time you've finished reading this book, you'll understand how far we've come since then and how far we still have to go.
#14 True Porn Clerk Stories by Ali Davis
16% of people spend more than ten minutes surfing porn websites, but even more people spend their time visiting porn stores.
This book compiles a series of stories about what it's like to deal with people if you work in a porn shop.
These stories began as a blog, but it was too juicy to leave there. If you want to come in and out just like people come in and out of the stores, this is the book for you.
People are captivated by the fact that people visit porn stores, but why?
Don't we all enjoy engaging in sexual acts?
The thing is some people are more open about their sexual desires than others, and it's perfectly fine.
#15 Dahlia Season by Myriam Gurba
Have you ever struggled with coming to terms with the person you're becoming and meant to be?
If so, this book is one that you can live through, because Dahlia is an outcast and loner who is on a mission of self-discovery.
She's a queer woman who feels alone until she gets to college and meets another woman who will help her find out who she is. Rae is the person Dahlia needs in her life to understand there's nothing wrong with her.
Get ready to enjoy steamy moments and ones that pull on your emotions at the same time.
#16 Carnal Knowledge by Zoe Ligon and Elizabeth Renstrom
Author Zoe Ligon is a leading sexpert and uses this novel as a way to share things with you that you didn't learn from your teachers in sexual education.
The topics discussed in her book share information and ensure that it's being shared in a positive way for all readers.
You'll also get some useful tips and tricks to start using with your partners when it's time to get busy.
Definitely one of the Best Sex Education Book out there!
Sex Positive Books: Reading That Strokes Your Mind
Sex positive books can help you learn more about yourself, sexuality as a whole, and how it all plays a role in our society today.
Start building your library of sexuality literature so that you can shape your mind and build the sex life of your dreams.
We'd love to be part of the process as well and would like to help you to find your next romantic fictional or non fictional read!
And sometimes, we all need just a short sex story to get into mood, right?